Tears and Explanations

After we learned of our baby's diagnosis, it didn't take long to settle on a name. We were going to call her Lucy. Not naming her at this point didn't seem right - we talked about her all the time and we knew that many would be praying for her over the next few months, and they needed a name to pray for.

We spent the next week after finding out crying and processing the news - sometimes together, sometimes apart. I found it very difficult to be apart from Jason and was incredibly anxious that he was coming up to his busy season of travel and would be gone for most of the month of March.

We told our families and close friends. I founds phone calls to be very difficult, because I would just sob uncontrollably and the person at the other end of the phone wouldn't know what to say. Email was much easier for me to deal with. Many people responded with emails, cards or phone calls, all of which I appreciated to no end. After about a week, I was able to talk about Lucy and her future and in a more logical, non-emotional state.

Everyone said things like, "It's going to be OK." And while I wanted to believe them, part of me wanted to scream, "Nothing is ever going to be ok again!"